Spring Cleaning

This is crazy. I am so hesitant to write this as I will feel judged. So judged because what is in my head is pretty darn crazy at times.
I watched a movie once. In 5th grade. No idea what it's name was. All I know is that it had Donald Duck in it and it was the kind of thing where he was representing something...not Disney. Like he was there to teach the class a lesson. Well anyway there was a part where we went into his ear and got to see his brain. His brain had file cabinets it it. They were A MESS. Things were everywhere! I remember thinking I feel like my brain would look like that. And in ways it is. Everything has a file. Everyone has a file. At the end of this show his brain was well organized...all files put away and very tidy. Ever since THAT very moment I have wanted some tidy files. I have been going for that my whole life. So just maybe by bringing my files out of the brain into the fingertips I may have my chance!
I am walking with God. Well, God is walking and looking back saying "Come ON April! Let's catch up! YOU have a life to live! A better one."
This is all new to me. As I have always felt so judged by church and people who go to church. Never felt like I belonged. But NOW I really feel like I do. 33 years later I do.
I have taken a HUGE step. But I have taken it and it is comfortable and feels right. I am on the path I just know it. I am there. I just need to STAY there. See the thing is one thing could throw me off. Just one. Little or big. Anything could throw me off of my walk with God. I know this. It is my hope that this feeling of being sidetraked will dissipate over time.
So there my first blog. It feels nice I feel like this could work for my files. I am going to get them in order. Isn't it funny that there are pieces of life, of childhood that you remember. It is like that movie "Signs". Like I am supposed to remember these random moments.
5th grade-Donald Duck brain file movie
9 years old-Savoring moments becuase I knew I would forget them
That's it. Really, I thought I would have this gigantic list. As it usually is I have forgotten. Like always I live life and it breezes by me and only lets me keep a tiny feeling or moment. I want ALL of MY moments.
So this is it. My life. Read it and wonder why you never saw the crazy or embrace it.