Bonus

I was told that coming to church was not for ME it is for GOD. And if you walk away and feel filled up and feel like you are on top of the world...those days are bonuses.
Today was a bonus. I do tend to have many of them. Today the message was about 4 steps you must have on your spiritual journey.

1.Come as you are
2.Experience of  Grace....see my previous blog, my "moments" are experiences of GRACE!
3.A friend that takes a risk
4. TRANSFORMATION....see my previous blog...that was the title!

Do you see it? See my moment of grace TODAY? HELLO! Bonus!
I really like a list of things to check off. Luckily my Pastor likes to make 'em. I had been feeling recently that things were not progressing. I want everything NOW, NOW, NOW! I felt stagnant like maybe I was not supposed to be a Christ follower. I felt like I was not feeling God or seeing him in my life. I felt hopeless and conflicted. But today I learned that I can check off 3! And the 4th well that is a constant.

I give up on things.....if they are hard I will do it, give up. I think maybe I was going to give up on my new life. It is hard. It is hard to live as an example. Me? An example for others to learn from? Impossible....today I learned not to fast! (Nothing is impossible.)I will give in when life gets too hard. I will give up when people are people and let me down. Not anymore. It is not just me anymore. When I am weak, he is strong.

I will continue to walk in grace. I know that I am worthy of it.

Transformation

I don't have a day. A day where I accepted Jesus and my world changed. Other people have these explosive feelings on the day they accept Jesus.
I do have moments. Moments when it is all I can do to not scream and carry on about  the way I am feeling. I feel his presence. Where I read my bible and the butterflies come....
I am ready for the moments.
I have changed. I can feel my judgement slipping away. Negative is not a word I would use to describe myself anymore. I can feel the girl I was slipping away. I am okay with that.

Greater things have yet to come.